We all fall into the trap—comparing ourselves to others, making snap judgments about what she’s wearing or what he said. It’s a protective mechanism we use to avoid dealing with our own stuff. Luckily, there are people in the world like New York Times best-selling author and spiritual guru Gabby Bernstein to shake us out of our comfort zone and encourage us to confront deep-rooted traumas. And that’s what she’s going to do in person in Boston on January 7 when she shares with the W.E.L.L. Summit about her new book, Judgment Detox.
But before we meet up in Boston, we wanted to check in with Gabby to find out more about the Judgment Detox. Here’s her take on why 2017 has been full of more judgment than past years, how we can turn our natural inclination for judgment into love and why it’s so crucial to our health to change our attitudes.
The Judgment Detox
How does the Judgment Detox work (a.k.a. why do we need it)?
The Judgment Detox helps you become aware of your judgment and provides spiritual and practice tools for healing it. The healing begins when readers understand the ways that they’ve used judgment to avoid their deep-rooted pain. When we address the root cause behind our judgment we begin to truly heal our perceptions of ourselves and the world. Each step builds upon the next and is simple to apply. The other reason this process works is because it gets you into the habit of auditing your judgment daily.
When you’ve done the practice, what changes do you notice?
This six-step practice offers many promises. Petty resentments will disappear, compassion will replace attack, the energy of resistance will transform into freedom and you’ll feel more peace and happiness than you’ve ever known. I can testify to these results because I’ve lived them. I’ve never felt more freedom and joy than I have when writing and practicing these steps.
What are some things that are making us prone to judging right now?
Politics is at the top of the list. The 2016 election made division more present than ever before. Our divided political views are at an all-time high, and the separation is felt throughout the world. Many people have retreated into their corners and are constantly defending against attacks and attacking back. We’ve forgotten our commonality and we focus on what separates us.
Social media is another reason we’re more judgmental today than we were years ago. Every time we turn to Instagram, Twitter or Facebook the judgment cycle begins. Social media makes us judge others and judge ourselves. We scroll through images and posts and immediately begin comparing ourselves to others and judging their views and choices. The opportunity to judge is constantly at our fingertips.
Why do you think judgment has become such a default setting, both when dealing with ourselves and with others?
Judgment is an addiction response to deep-rooted trauma. The first trauma is the separation from love. From a spiritual perspective, choosing fear and separation over love dissociates us from our truth. We become fragmented in this state of separation and lose our connection to our inner being. We inadvertently turn our back on our inner being and become obsessed with an outward projection of who we think we are. Feelings of guilt and sadness wash over us because deep down we know we’ve turned our back on love. But we can’t fully understand our guilt, so we do whatever we can to avoid feeling it. This is how the cycle of judgment becomes an addictive pattern.
What effects does judgment have on your life?
Judgment weakens your immune system, limits (or even ruins) personal relationships and blocks your power to attract what you want into your life. Repeating judgmental behavior makes it a powerful habit. When you repeat a behavior over and over, in time it becomes second nature. The more you repeat the pattern of judgment, the more you believe in it. The metaphysical teachers Abraham-Hicks say, “A belief is just a thought you keep thinking.” You create your reality with the thoughts you repeat and the beliefs that you align with. When judgment is your belief system, you’ll always feel unsafe, under attack and defensive. If you’re going to change the habit of judgment you need to change your core belief system. Our aim is to find our way back home—to find our way back to love.
Are all judgments a problem? Can we get rid of judging altogether?
The goal of the Judgment Detox isn’t to abolish judgment. The goal is to no longer believe in it so that you can return to peace of mind as quickly as possible. By practicing the steps in this book judgments can come and go quickly. That’s the goal. When you no longer rely on judgment as a way of avoiding pain, it will no longer be a habit you turn to. There is also an important distinction between judging and discerning , which I detail in the book.
You talk about this being a “practice,” meaning it takes work. How would you encourage people to commit to that work?
In Judgment Detox I laid out the steps specifically so that they would build on each other. I’m a big believer in adding up small shifts and miracle moments so that you experience radical change. When you begin to feel relief and notice the shifts, you will want to add up more and more.
While the Judgment Detox is an immersive process, the tools are easy to incorporate into your everyday life once you’ve completed it. For example, I encourage readers to choose their favorite prayer and meditation and practice them daily. The more you do the exercises in Judgment Detox, the more they become second nature. Eventually you will be able to do them swiftly and move from judgment to forgiveness in a matter of moments.
Having a spiritual running buddy can also be a game changer! Find a friend or acquaintance you can talk with regularly as you practice the Judgment Detox. Sharing your challenges, revelations and miracles moments with someone else will help you stay committed, gently keep each other accountable and strengthen your relationship!
Why is judgment, as you write, really about our own self-judgment?
We repeat a self-judgmental story on loop all day long. I’m not good enough. Why did I make that mistake? I’m ugly. I’m not smart enough. And so on. All these self-inflicted behaviors are just another form of addiction. We unconsciously choose to judge rather than feel the pain beneath our wounds.
We live by the mantra “your vibe attracts your tribe.” How will a judgment detox help us attract uplifting people?
When you heal judgment you raise your vibration. Judgmental thoughts, words and behaviors drag down our energy and keep us stuck in a negative place. When we’re living in judgment, hanging out with our friends usually consists of ranting, venting, gossiping and criticizing.
But when we heal judgment we feel amazing! We let go of resentments, forgive easily, give others the benefit of the doubt and strengthen our connections. When you heal judgment, your new energetic vibration attracts like-minded people who resonate with your energy. It also lifts up the people around you, shifting your dynamic from one of gossip and judgment to one of compassion and love.
What one thing can people do to start detoxing their attitude toward judgment?
They can start with step 1 and witness their judgment without judgment. Start by getting intimate with your judgment, identify the triggers underneath it and get honest about how it makes you feel. This authentic audit of your behavior is a necessary first step. Without it, you can’t move on to the next phase of healing. The spiritual path to clearing judgment begins with your honest inventory.
- Gabby will give a talk on Judgment Detox and introduce the 6 steps of the process.
- She’ll teach the most powerful lessons from the book and share personal stories of how this practice has changed her life.
- She’ll lead guided meditations to help you heal judgment and clear space for peace.
- She will guide you through a session of Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) for instant relief.
- There will be a live Q&A and book signing.
- General tickets include 2 copies of Judgment Detox!
- VIP tickets include 4 copies of the book plus the amazing Miracle Bonus Bundle!